“I have a son named Jake…”: An Autoethnographic Application of the Continuing Bonds Theory
Department
Communication Studies - Relational Com
Location
Bethel University
Document Type
Event
Start Date
10-25-2023
End Date
10-25-2023
Abstract
“Why are people trying to kill my son? I lay in bed last night – wondering about that – worrying about that as I had for many nights in the past three years. People didn't want me to talk about him...People blatantly ignored things that I set out that were conversation pieces related to him. Afraid to talk -- afraid to listen. Afraid to move forward with me in my relationship with Jacob. " I have a son named Jake. The theory of Continuing Bonds (Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, 1996) provides a new way of looking at how people overcome the death of a loved one. Rather than ending the relationship with the deceased, this person firmly remains a beloved member of the family and because of that, survivors learn new ways to relate to that person. In fact, the Continuing Bonds Theory explains that rather than getting over their grief and moving on, it allows the relationship to continue in a way that allows the deceased member to live their life through their survivors; for some left behind the use of this theory is the only way they can cope.
Recommended Citation
Brule, Nancy, "“I have a son named Jake…”: An Autoethnographic Application of the Continuing Bonds Theory" (2023). Day of Scholarship. 32.
https://spark.bethel.edu/dayofscholarship/fall2023/oct25/32
“I have a son named Jake…”: An Autoethnographic Application of the Continuing Bonds Theory
Bethel University
“Why are people trying to kill my son? I lay in bed last night – wondering about that – worrying about that as I had for many nights in the past three years. People didn't want me to talk about him...People blatantly ignored things that I set out that were conversation pieces related to him. Afraid to talk -- afraid to listen. Afraid to move forward with me in my relationship with Jacob. " I have a son named Jake. The theory of Continuing Bonds (Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, 1996) provides a new way of looking at how people overcome the death of a loved one. Rather than ending the relationship with the deceased, this person firmly remains a beloved member of the family and because of that, survivors learn new ways to relate to that person. In fact, the Continuing Bonds Theory explains that rather than getting over their grief and moving on, it allows the relationship to continue in a way that allows the deceased member to live their life through their survivors; for some left behind the use of this theory is the only way they can cope.